Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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