3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
