i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
