Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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