I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
