I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
