Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
