I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
