Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
