Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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