Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
