let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
