would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
