the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
