Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
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