Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
