So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
it was like eating out sand paper
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
