Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
