Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
