So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize