You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
