im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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