can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Randomize
