No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
