i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
