you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
