I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize