It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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