1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
