on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
