You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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