He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
