So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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