There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
