toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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