it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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