Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize