you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
