Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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