i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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