you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
