I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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