Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
