I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize