I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize