I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
