i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
