New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
