youre lurking in front of me
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
