i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
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