it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
