True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
