we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
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