Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
