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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"

  (1-401): View more from Rhode Island

  um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her

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• (313): View more from Michigan

  my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.

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• (702): View more from Nevada

  Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.

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• (361): View more from Texas

  He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.

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• (905): View more from Ontario

  Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.

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• (801): View more from Utah

  I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.

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• (585): View more from New York

  Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump

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• (850): View more from Florida

  Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup

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• (716): View more from New York

  Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.

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• (512): View more from Texas

  The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped

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• (253): View more from Washington

  I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.

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