I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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