Your tits are I can't wait for
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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