so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
