So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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