Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
