Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
you will always have a special place in my vag
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
