Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
