I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
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