Taylor Swift is so right about you.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Randomize