after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
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