so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
he puts the penis in happiness.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
