Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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