Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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