Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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