I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Randomize
