One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i need an iv and a liver transplant
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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